Phoenix
by sirena1
Summary: Angel died trying to save Buffy and Cordelia. Now the Oracles have had mercy on him and brought him back, but things aren't the way he left them.
1. Alive again

Hey all! This is my most recent attempt at a fic. I hope you enjoy it! 

Title: Phoenix

Summary: Angel died. Buffy gave birth to his daughter. Three years later, he's back from the dead. What

happens between the parents? 

Rating: PG-13 to R.

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from the characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel. If I owned them, everything would be perfect in the Buffyverse and there would be no Spike or Riley ever.

Feedback: Please! I live on it!

Dedication: To Jill and Michelle for writing some of the best stories I have ever written. Check out their sites. 

It had been three years. Three long, horrible years since Angel had died. And on the third anniversary of his death, Buffy Summers found herself at the exact spot where, three years earlier, she had watched the love of her life turn to ashes in the sunrise. The first and last sunrise he had seen in 250 years. The irony of it all made her want to laugh through her tears.

"Buffy? Are you in here?" Cordelia Chase called through the doorway. She walked in and approached the blonde Slayer cautiously. "Hey. I thought you'd be here."

"Aren't I always this time of year?" Buffy answered, reaching for the brunette Seer. Cordelia grasped Buffy's hand strongly and the two women stood in silence, mourning the man who had given his life to save them.

"Yeah. He should be here with us. It isn't right that he had to die." 

"He thought it was. To him, death was all that he deserved. It isn't fair. I should have been the one to die. It was my destiny that caused the mess, I should have been the one to die for it. Not him."

"Buffy, don't so this to yourself, not again. It does no good. We have to get on with our lives without him. It isn't easy, but it's what we have to do."

Buffy laughed humorlessly. "But I have moved on, haven't I?" she asked bitterly, gesturing to the wedding band on her left ring finger. "I got married! That's moving on, isn't it?"

"That doesn't count. Why do you still wear that ring anyway?"

Buffy sighed, "Carley likes it. She asked me to keep wearing it. It makes her feel closer to her Daddy."

"Riley isn't her father." Cordelia pointed out.

"She knows. She may only be two, but she knows." 

"Does Riley still visit her?"

"No. He knew when she was born that Carley isn't his daughter. That caused our divorce and he hasn't been to see her in eight months. I think we would have made it if she hadn't looked exactly like Angel."

Cordelia nodded. "Yeah, I know. How is that possible? Wesley has been looking for answers since she was born and he still hasn't found anything. The Powers won't tell me anything either."

"I wish I knew. But Angel is her father. I just know he is. I don't know how, but I know he is."

"That's pretty obvious. Anyone who knew Angel would guess that he's the father. She does look almost exactly like he did. But then there's the 'he was a vampire and couldn't have kids' thing that makes it complicated."

"And the 'I haven't slept with him since I was seventeen' thing too."

"That too."

The two women lapsed into a sad silence, their thought only of Angel and the daughter he never knew he had. Tears still tracked slowly down Buffy's cheeks, but Cordelia had managed to keep herself composed. Their hands were still joined in an effort to comfort each other, but it was doing little good. Eventually Buffy pulled out of her friend's grasp and left the building. 

"I'll see you at home later tonight." The Slayer said softly before disappearing.

A few moments later Cordelia followed Buffy outside. But just as she reached the door, she turned around. "Angel, I know this is probably useless, but I'm going to talk for a minute anyway. If you can hear me, I'm sorry. You deserve to be here with Buffy, watching your daughter grow up. I wish I could make everything better for you. I would do anything to see you here with us instead of dead. So, that's it I guess. I'll be back soon." Cordelia said and, having spoken her peace for the moment, she turned and left the building.

"We must do something." The female Oracle said to her mate. She adjusted her toga over one shoulder and stood, pacing around their chambers slowly. "It is our mistake that has caused them this mess. We must fix it."

The male Oracle sighed deeply, his patience wearing thin. "We did not cause him to die. It was his own fault, not ours. There is nothing we can do."

"We did not cause his death, but we did nothing to stop it either."

"It was not our place."

"But it was our fault that the child was conceived."

"How was that our fault? Did we give them doses of pheromones to make them copulate? I think not."

"When the Warrior came to us, asking to turn back the day, it was our doing that caused everything but his memories and the child to be erased. It was because of the child that the Slayer and the Seer were captured, and it was because of their capture that the warrior died. Therefore it is our job to make all well in the world. We have to fix this mess."

"I seem to remember it being your idea to let the child survive. That means it's your fault, not mine and I will take no part in correcting anything that does not need to be corrected."

"But it does need to be corrected! She is miserable, and when the Slayer is miserable, the forces of darkness prevail! We cannot have that!" the female said vehemently, stomping her foot.

"Fine. Do what you want, but I will have no part in it, and I insist that you not tamper with temporal folds again. Just look at what it did the last time. Do something else. Something simpler."

"I agree," the female conceded, "But the question is not what, but through whom do I do my work?" she mused, mentally ticking off all the possible candidates. She snapped her fingers in elation a moment later. "I've got it! The one witch, the one who restored the Warrior's soul, she would do anything to see the Slayer happy again. She would be perfect to resurrect the Warrior!"

"Now, my naïve companion, how do you plan on getting the witch to volunteer her services?"

"Who said anything about her volunteering? I had a plain, simple, good old possession in mind. That way I know nothing will go wrong as it did with the soul restoration spell. Now, shall I bring him back as a human or as a vampire?"

"A vampire." The male Oracle suggested boredly, "It's so much more interesting when he's a vampire. To bring him back human would just make everything so much more boring that usual and then we would have no fun watching them suffer."

"But wouldn't it be more romantic to bring him back human and to send her dreams alerting her of his presence until she finally realizes that he is, indeed alive, and finds him and then they lead long, happy, loving lives together?"

"Romantic? Yes. Interesting? Not in the least."

"Did I ask you?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. Right."

Buffy watched her daughter sleeping peacefully and sighed, her throat closed up with unshed tears. Angel should be there with her, watching their child grow as she was. Carley looked so much like Angel that, sometimes, it was almost painful for Buffy to look at her. But, she, unfortunately, had inherited the attitude and persona of her mother.

The toddler had long, dark, curly hair that fell to her shoulders, big, chocolate brown eyes, a blinding smile that she kept hidden most of the time, as her father had, and Angel's broad, dramatic forehead, and sculpted nose. Thankfully, she had also gotten Buffy's feminine softness with her features, making her look innocent. And, Buffy mused silently, for the time being, she was innocent. Carley knew nothing of monsters under the bed, or what lurked just outside the safe confines of their small apartment that they shared with Cordelia and Dennis, her friendly ghost.

Buffy had moved in with the ex cheerleader three months after her divorce from Riley. They had become good friends in the time since Angel died, and when Joyce had made Buffy move out, Cordelia had offered the Slayer and her infant daughter a place to stay until she got an apartment. Two years later, they were still living together. 

Buffy heard Cordelia come in from work and walked into the living room to meet her. She laid her purse and bag down on a chair and walked over to Buffy, who looked to be on the verge of tears. Without a word, she took the blonde Slayer into her arms and let her cry, sobs wracking her small frame.

"What is it?" Cordelia asked softly, stroking Buffy's hair.

Buffy pulled back and sat down on the couch. Cordelia took the place next to her. "I was watching her sleep. And she looks so much like him. And, oh God, Cordy, I miss him so much! It's been three years and I still can't bear the thought of him being gone. I wish he would just walk through that door and say 'honey, I'm home!', but then I realize he'll never get to say that because I killed him!"

"Buffy, honey, you didn't kill Angel. He was the one who came after _us_ when it was so close to sunrise. He knew he would never make it back in time, but he did it anyway. It's his own fault that he died. Not yours, and not mine. I know it hurts. I hurt too, and I only worked for him. Granted, he was like my brother, but I never loved him the way you did. And I know it's easy to sit here and say how unfair life is and how you wish there was something you could do to make him come back, but in the end, he's gone and it's our job to move on with our lives and do the things he wanted to do, but never got the chance to." Cordelia said, her voice soft, in a rare moment when she wasn't being sarcastic. She tucked a strand of her friend's hair behind her ear and hugged her briefly.

"Thanks, Cordy. I don't know what came over me. I just get emotional sometimes."

Cordelia laughed, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were pregnant again."

"No possible way. I haven't had sex in two years, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about your vow of celibacy."

"I'm not celibate. I just haven't met anyone I like enough to sleep with."

Cordelia sighed. "You don't have to like them. They just have to turn you on."

"And what would I tell Carley when she walks in in the morning and sees a boy naked in bed with Mommy?"

"Lock the door." Cordelia suggested, smiling and standing. "So, what's for dinner? I'm hungry and I really don't feel like ordering out again."

Buffy thought for a minute. "I cooked Carley and me lasagna if you want to warn some of that up. It was pretty good."

"Sounds good. How long has she been asleep?"

"Not long. Maybe twenty minutes. She'll wake up in a couple hours."

"Your little night owl."

"What did you expect? With a Slayer for a mom and a vampire for a dad, I'd be shocked if she ever slept through a whole night."

The female Oracle chanted a spell several times and then watched as Willow woke from a deep sleep and, without being aware of it, began to assemble the ingredients necessary to bring Angel back from wherever he had gone after his death. She got the proper books out and left her dorm room for a quick run to the magic shop for some more ingredients.

"How's it going?" the male Oracle asked, entering the chamber.

"Fine. Wonderful actually. She was very receptive to my possession. And, she had most of the ingredients and the spell book in her dorm room with her. That was very convenient."

"Very. How much longer will it take?"

"An hour or so. It all depends on how cooperative Angel is. There's always the chance that he does not want to be brought back. In that case, it could be rather difficult and time consuming to pull him out of wherever it is that he went."

"I believe that would be Heaven."

"A vampire in Heaven? That is impossible. Even a vampire with a soul still has a demon and that means, in essence, he was still a creature of evil, no matter how good he seemed to be."

"I know, but Angel was a special circumstance. He wasn't supposed to die, and he was a Warrior. A fighter for our side. I highly doubt that the Powers saw it fit to send one of our greatest assets to Hell because of a demon in his body that wasn't even in control."

"Maybe. But I still think that he was in Hell." The female said with finality in her voice. Then her attention turned back to the witch she was possessing. Willow had returned with all her ingredients and was preparing to begin the spell. 

Willow laid out several ingredients, an Orb of Thesselah, some newt eyes, mandrake root, and bezoar among them. She looked up the procedure in her spell book and walked over to her spice rack. She pulled out ginger, lemon rind, orange peel, cinnamon sticks and pure vanilla, all enhanced with magical properties, of course. She gathered several more jars, knowing what was in them from memory and a measuring cup. After she had everything assembled and her cauldron ready, she began to mix ingredients while chanting a spell and burning some Wiccan incense. 

"Gods, hear my plea.

Return what has been taken.

Let the soul reenter the body

And raise the body from the place it does not belong,

And from the ashes, like the Phoenix, let him rise, from

Hell or Heaven, or dimension unknown,

With these words I command thee,

Let Angel, the vampire with a soul, be returned,

To the place he is most needed,

In his human form,

With memories, body, and soul intact,

And let him keep all of his vampiric strength.

Mote it be done!" Willow finished the incantation and tossed a root into her potion. There was a small cloud of blue smoke that rose from her cauldron, and then she collapsed, the Oracle leaving her as quickly as it had come. She woke several minutes later, surveyed the situation, and turned a ghostly white. "Oh dear God, what have I done?"

Cordelia woke with a start when she heard a thump in the living room. She grabbed a loaded crossbow from under her bed, and slowly crept across her floor to the door. She opened the door slightly and realized that Buffy, whose room was further down the hall, hadn't heard anything. She snuck out into the hallway and walked slowly toward the living room. When she got there, she automatically turned on the small lamp on the corner table and continued walking until she came upon a shape crumpled in the middle of her floor. Another glance told her that the figure didn't have any clothes on. She saw that whoever it was, was unconscious and hurried down to Buffy's bedroom.

"Buffy, wake up." Cordelia whispered urgently, keeping one eye on the door. She heard a groan and shook the Slayer more vehemently. Buffy woke up with s start and sat up.

"What? It's three in the morning, Cordy! What can possibly be so important that it couldn't wait until morning?"

"There's a naked man in our living room." 

Buffy lifted one eyebrow. "I didn't know you had a date tonight."

"I didn't. I don't think he's here for either one of us."

"Then pray tell why he's here?"

"I don't know and I can't ask him because he's unconscious. Would you please go wake him up?"

"Why can't you?"

"Because you're stronger and I don't know if he's dangerous or not."

Buffy threw back the covers and got out of bed. Carley had crawled in bed with her, and the toddler stirred at Buffy's sudden movement. "Shh, sweetie. I'll be right back, stay here with Aunt Cordelia, okay?"

"Mmmhmm." Carley mumbled, sinking back into the covers. Cordelia covered her back up, and sat beside her until she fell back asleep. In that time, Buffy had left the room.

Buffy walked into the living room and looked at the man, his chest rising and falling in an even pattern. "Okay, so definitely human. He looks familiar." Buffy muttered to herself, while trying to decide the best way to either move him or wake him up. "Umm, sir, excuse me, are you awake?" Buffy asked, touching his shoulder hesitantly. When she received no response, she grit her teeth and rolled him over. Seeing his face, she clapped a hand over her mouth and sat down on the floor, tears welling in her eyes. "Cordelia!" she yelled, "Get in here!"

Cordelia ran in and when she saw what Buffy had, she also sat down, shaking with emotion. "He's dead." Cordelia whispered, "We saw him die. He can't possibly be here." She said, more for Buffy's sake than hers. "This can't be happening."

Buffy nodded. "And yet, he's here. But is it really him? Cordy, this feels suspiciously like a trick."

Just then Angel moaned and moved. Cordelia jerked back and grabbed Buffy's arm. "What if he doesn't have his soul? He could kill us and Carley!"

"He's human, Cordy. Look, he's breathing. We really should get him dressed. I don't need Carley pointing and asking what certain parts are."

At Buffy's last sentence, Cordelia turned red and covered her eyes. "You're the one who's seen that part of him, you get him dressed. I'll go get some clothes and start a pot of coffee. This is going to be a long night."

"Call Will and Xander too. Wesley if you can get through. We need answers." Buffy said, trying to keep herself from crying. She reached over and laid her palm on Angel's cheek, relishing in it's warmth. She had dreamed that he would come back nearly every night for three years, and now that her dream had come true. Angel was in her living room, albeit naked and unconscious, but there just the same.

Cordelia handed her a set of clothes and Buffy began the process of dressing Angel. She slipped boxers on him first, the a wife beater, and laid the other clothes aside for him to put on later. She rolled him to his back, and, with a minimal amount of struggle, picked him up. Cordelia helped her carry him into her bedroom and lifted Carley so they could lay Angel down.

"Mommy, who is that?" Carley asked sleepily, reaching for her mother.

"That's an old friend. Can I put you back in your room for now?"

"Yeah. I'm tired." She murmured, falling asleep, her face pressed into Buffy's neck. Buffy carried her daughter into her bedroom and laid her on the bed, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. She kissed her daughter's head gently and left the room, intent on going back to tend to Angel while Cordelia was on the phone. When she got back into her bedroom, Angel was stirring.

"Angel? Are you awake?"

Angel nodded and opened his eyes. "I am now. Where are we?" he asked, looking around, trying to remember what had happened.

"My apartment. Cordelia's calling Wesley right now. Don't worry, we'll figure out what happened."

"Buffy, my heart's beating."

"I know. You're human."

"What happened? I remember the sun starting to rise, and then it's all blank. How did we get here? And when did you get an apartment? You were living in the dorms."

"Angel, you've been dead for three years." Buffy said gently, laying a hand on his arm.

"Three years? How could I have been dead for three years?!"

"You died that night when you came to save me and Cordelia. The sun rose and you couldn't avoid it."

"So I died. Okay, I can buy that. But how am I here now? And why don't I remember anything about where I went?" Angel asked, sighing and raking his fingers through his hair.

Buffy started crying. "I don't know. And I'm sorry you don't want to be back! But there isn't anything I can do about it at the moment!"

"Whoa," Angel said, reaching for the Slayer, "Who said I wasn't glad to be back? I certainly didn't." he calmed her, pulling her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed. He rubbed her back soothingly and murmured comforting words into her hair. Finally, after a long while, her cries quieted and she pulled out of the warm circle of his arms. "Why don't you fill me in on what's been going on the last three years?"

Buffy nodded, and wiped her eyes, grateful for a distraction from the incredible urge she had to kiss him. "Cordelia, Gunn, Wesley, and Fred kept Angel Investigations going. I work there with them now. Mom kicked me out, so I moved in here with Cordelia. Giles went back to England. He comes and visits every three months. Umm, Willow is still at school. She's a senior this year. She and Oz are getting married after graduation. Xander and Anya, you remember Anya, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well they got married about a year ago. Fred and Gunn are still together and I really think Cordy's in love with Wesley, but she hasn't admitted it yet."

"And what about you? What have you been doing?"

Buffy gulped. "Do we really have to get into that now? I don't think you're ready for it."

"Or you don't want to tell me?"

Buffy smiled sheepishly. "Both, I guess. I'll tell you," she promised, "just not right now. I'm too glad you're back to make you want to leave again."

Angel cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere for a long time. Me being human opens up all kinds of possibilities for us."

Buffy began to cry again. "I don't think you'll be saying that for long."

"Why? What happened?"

Buffy pulled off her wedding band and handed it to him. "That happened."

"You're married?" Angel asked, inadvertently slipping in to brood-mode. "To who? Is it Riley?"

"One at a time. I'm divorced. And yes, I was married to Riley. We got married about three months after you died."

"Oh. Well, I wish I could've been there. But I was a little busy being dead."

"Don't be mad at me, please." Buffy begged, "I don't think I even knew what I was doing. I was so upset from losing you it was like I fell into a dream and when I woke up I was married."

"How long were you married?"

"A little over six months."

"Why did you get divorced?"

Buffy sighed. "You just had to get into the deep stuff five minutes after you wake up. Okay, I'll tell you. We got married because I was pregnant. We got divorced because the baby wasn't his."

Angel stared at her for a few minutes. "You have a child?" he managed to get out, his voice sounding strangled.

Buffy shook her head. "No. **_We_** have a two year old daughter."

Angel looked at her blankly. "Did you hit your head on something? I can't have kids."

"I know. But she looks just like you. Even Spike and my Mom admitted it. Come with me." Buffy said, pulling his from the bed, automatically slipping one arm around his waist in case he was unsteady on his feet. She led him down the hall to Carley's room. She opened the door and let Angel look down on his daughter. "We've been researching since we found out. Still haven't come up with a possible way that she's here. Her name is Carley."

"She looks…"

"Just like you. Acts like you too."

"How?" Angel asked, sounding strangled again.

"We don't know." Buffy repeated. "Technically, she isn't possible. I mean, we haven't been together since I was seventeen and that was almost five years ago, and she's only two."

Angel turned to Buffy after she shut Carley's door. "Buffy, we have a daughter." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I know. She's the only thing that's kept me alive these last years. I missed you so much Angel. I thought I was going to die for months." Buffy whispered, leaning into Angel's touch. 

"I'm sorry." Angel said, just as softly, leaning down to capture her lips in a warm kiss. But passion sprung between them and he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slip into her mouth. She groaned and pressed herself to him, her arms tightening around his neck. Buffy tugged him toward her bedroom and he willingly went along with her until he remembered his curse. "Buffy, sweetie, we can't do this." He said between long, passionate kisses. "There's still the curse."

Buffy kicked the door closed behind her. "You're human. There is no curse." She muttered, kissing him again.

"In that case, this is even more of a no-no."

"Why?" Buffy asked, pulling away fully. "Nothing's changed has it? You still don't want to be with me." She stated, turning her back to him.

"Me wanting to be with you was never a question. I'll always want you Buffy. That will never change. But we don't know why I'm here, or even if I get to stay here. And I'm going to make a shot in the dark and say that since I'm human I can get you pregnant."

Buffy turned around. "The problem is, right now , I really don't care." She mumbled, letting his arms engulf her.

"I've been gone three years. A lot has changed. We can't just jump into this without talking about it more fully." 

"We could talk for days and still have problems and excuses." Buffy argued. "I know you Angel. Hard as that is to believe, I do know you. And you tend to think that you don't deserve anything. But here's the deal. You've got me. And you've got Carley. Whether or not you think you deserve us, or we deserve you, we aren't going anywhere for a good long time. So get used to it." She said, looking very stubborn. Angel nearly laughed at her expression, but had a feeling that it wouldn't do any good.

"Buffy, I don't want to get rid of you or Carley. You two mean the world to me. Even though I haven't even met her yet, I love her. I would love her if she were Riley's simply because she's a part of you. And I love you. Even after four years, I love you. I will always love you. And now, with me being human, I have to admit that all my reasons for leaving you are kind of discredited. So, I won't be going anywhere, but we do need to go slow. If only to get to know each other again before we jump into anything."

Buffy relented. "Okay, you've got a point. But there will be none of taking it so slow I want to punch you. Angel, how are we going to introduce you to Carley?"

Angel looked borderline angry. "She thinks Riley is her father?"

"No! He hasn't seen her in eight months anyway and she never called him Daddy. She's asked me about you and I've told her that you loved her very much, but I didn't think that you would be coming back. This will be a shock to her."

Angel sighed. "You're right. What do you think we should do?"

"Telling her is a given. I just want to be gentle about it. Not ambush her. Maybe I should tell her alone."

"Okay. I can deal with that. How long is it going to be until Wesley gets here?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. Let me go ask Cordelia." She said, leaving the room. "Cordy, when is Wesley going to get here?" she asked the brunette who was pouring three cups of coffee.

"He's not coming tonight. I figured from the display you two put on in the hallway that it might be better to wait until morning. We're supposed to meet him at the office at eight- thirty. I didn't tell him Angel was back, just that there was a situation that needed his attention. I'm sure he's reading through about five books at once right about now." Cordelia said, handing Buffy two of the three cups. "I'm going back to bed. It's too early to be awake. You two can do whatever, I'll wear my earplugs."

"Cordy, we aren't going to do that."

"Right. By the way, how did you get done so fast?"

"All we did was kiss. He wants to go slow and get to know each other again."

"Geez. That sucks. I guess Buffy's gonna be celibate for a little while longer."

"When it's Angel, I don't mind. Wait, yes I do, but that isn't the point. The point is, I'm so glad to have him back that I think I'd wait forever if he asked me too." Buffy said, adding sugar to her coffee. She normally drank it black, but had a feeling she'd need the extra energy that the sugar would provide. "Well, I better get back there. Yell if you need anything. I doubt I'll be asleep."

"Why?"

"I can't sleep when there's a lot to think about. You know that." Buffy said, turning and walking back into her bedroom. Angel was standing in front of her dresser, looking at all the pictures she had of Carley. "She was one and a half in that one." Buffy said, seeing the picture he was looking at. "It was taken on my birthday last year. She decided to get into my cake and ended up knocking it over on herself. Took me an hour to get her clean again. Cordelia took the picture."

Angel nodded. "She's beautiful. Just like her mother."

"Except for the fact that she looks exactly like you." Buffy said, laughing as she handed him the coffee. "You drink yours black, right?" she asked.

"Yeah. So do you if my memory serves me correctly."

"Most of the time. I added sugar though. It helps me stay awake."

"Why are you staying awake? It's four in the morning."

"I know I won't be able to sleep. Not with everything that's happened in the last half hour."

"Yeah."

"Do you want something to eat? I don't know about you, but I'm starved. You must be too."

"I could eat." Angel confirmed, following Buffy into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out eggs and bacon.

"It's closer to breakfast than any other meal, so we'll have breakfast food. How do you like your eggs?"

"Scrambled. I think. At least, that's how I always fixed them for Cordelia, Gunn, and Fred."

"Let's see how you like scrambled and go from there." Buffy said, laughing. She got out a skillet and turned on the stove. She cracked the eggs on the side of the pan and began cooking. Ten minutes later, they both had plates of food in front of them, and Buffy was watching intently as Angel took his first bites of food as a human. "How are they?"

Angel nodded, "Very good. I like them." He complimented her culinary skills. Buffy smiled, and took a bite of her own eggs. She decided that she had done better.

"Angel, do you have any idea how Carley is here? I mean, we haven't been together since I was seventeen, and since you were a vampire, you couldn't have kids." Buffy asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Angel sighed, realizing that he was going to have to tell her about the Day that Wasn't. "Buffy, do you remember when you came to visit me the first Thanksgiving after I moved to LA?"

"Yeah. Of course I do. Why?"

"Things didn't go like you remember."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when you got there, and we were in my office, the Mohra demon came through the window and we fought it. But I didn't kill it. It got away and we went after it. We chased it into the sewers and had another of our sewer talks that ended about the same way as the first one did. After that, I continued in the sewers and you went up top to look for it. I found it, and we fought again. During the fight, it bled on me, and the blood turned me human. Mohra blood has regenerative properties. Anyway, I went to the Oracles and they assured me that it was for good. I went out into the sunlight and found you on the pier. We went back to my apartment and were talking in the kitchen, deciding to go slow and not rush anything when I accidentally touched your hand. To make a long story short, we ended up making love all over my apartment and then spending the rest of the day in bed. The next morning, Gunn came down to my apartment and told me that the Mohra was back. I went after it, and nearly got myself killed. See, I hadn't retained any of my strength so I was no match for the Mohra. Luckily you had waken up and followed me. You killed it, but not before it told me that more were coming. You went back to my apartment and I went back to the Oracles. They told me that you would die if I stayed human, so I asked them to turn me back into a vampire. They refused and said that the only way to turn me back was to erase the day. They created a temporal fold and swallowed the day. I'm the only one who remembers. They only left me the memories so I could kill the Mohra before it turned me human. The only answer I have is that maybe you got pregnant on that day and the Oracles didn't erase that. When was Carley born?"

"August twenty fifth. Nine months to the day after Thanksgiving 1999." Buffy said, her face pale from shock and tears welled in her hazel eyes. "She was a day early. Which puts conception the day after Thanksgiving. The day I was at your office." She finished, the tears spilling over.

"Buffy, I'm sorry." Angel whispered. "I didn't know any of this would happen. I swear I didn't. They never told me you were pregnant, let alone that they weren't erasing the baby too. Wait, that came out wrong. I wouldn't have done it if I had known there was a baby. But I didn't know. I had absolutely no clue." Angel said, trying to calm her down before she exploded as he undoubtedly knew she would. But there was no explosion. Buffy just stood, placed her plate in the sink, not noticing she dropped it hard enough to break it into dozens of tiny pieces, walked down the hallway, entered her room and softly closed the door behind her.

Buffy sagged against her door for a long moment before standing up straight and walking over to her closet. She exchanged her sweatpants and sweatshirt for pajama pants, a camisole and a flannel button up shirt and crawled into bed, still fighting the tears that were threatening to consume her. Once she had her face buried in her pillow, the scent of Angel filling her nostrils, she let the tears fall, sobs shaking her small frame. She fisted her hands in the sheets and curled herself into a fetal position, trying to make the hurt less.

Angel slowly opened Buffy's door, letting a small sliver of light from the hallway into her room. He could tell that she was sleeping and decided to take his chances. He walked in and closed the door behind him. Buffy rolled over in her sleep and he noticed that she had changed her clothes. Briefly wondering why she had changed, he peeled back the covers and got into the bed with her. He leaned over her sleeping form and kissed her cheek softly. She groaned and moved closer to him, unconsciously seeking the warmth he offered. He wrapped his arms around her and she burrowed into his warm embrace.

Buffy was having a wonderful dream. In her dream, Angel was in bed with her and they were kissing. She was wrapping her arms around his neck and he was pulling her against him, letting her feel how much he wanted her. She groaned and arched against him, her body reacting to being so close to him. She felt his hands start to unbutton her shirt and urged him on by arching her chest in his direction. Everything felt so real! It was almost hard to tell that she was dreaming. Suddenly, the feel of the cold night air on her skin jerked her from her dream and she woke up with a start, soon realizing that she hadn't been dreaming and she really was being undressed by Angel.

"Angel, what are you doing?" Buffy demanded, inadvertently moaning as his tongue came out to lick her collarbone. Angel didn't answer, just kissed her again, the kiss long and passionate. It served to drown out all objections that she had. "I'm still mad at you." She murmured when he finally tore his mouth away from hers.

"I know." He muttered, sliding the strap of her camisole off of her shoulder with his teeth.

"What about taking everything slow?" she wanted to know.

"Screw slow." Angel said, "I want you, and I know you want this too." 

Buffy lay sleepily beside Angel when, no more than twenty minutes ago, they had collapsed after at least three hours of lovemaking. She rolled to her side to face him and saw that he was also still awake. "Angel?" she whispered softly, laying her hand on his chest. "What's going to happen now?" 

Angel woke up fully at her words. "Well, I'll apologize a lot and you'll, hopefully, forgive me. And then, if all goes well, we'll be able to start over."

"Over as in you regret what we did." Buffy stated, sitting up and tossing her legs over the side of the bed.

Angel sighed and grabbed her before she could leave the bed. "That's not what I meant and you know it. All I meant was start our relationship over. There's a lot that's happened to you in three years and I want to know about it. As for regretting what happened between us. No, I don't regret it. I was the one who initiated it, remember? So no, I don't regret it. I do, however, regret that I didn't have the self-control to wait for a more opportune time. I love you Buffy, you know that. And I'll never regret making love to you. It isn't in my programming."

Buffy felt herself relax at his words of comfort. "Good, because I would have done something I would regret had you told me that you did regret sleeping with me."

"I would never tell you that." Angel assured her, moving slightly to disentangle their legs. Buffy whimpered softly at the loss of contact and he wrapped one arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into his embrace and he kissed the side of her head. "I love you so much Buffy." He whispered, sensing that she was about to fall asleep.

"I love you too." Buffy said, remembering Carley's habit of getting into bed with her in the middle of the night. She sighed and stretched, flinging her legs over the side of the bed. 

"What are you doing?" Angel asked, seeing her pull shorts and a loose shirt over her head.

"Getting dressed. Our daughter has this habit of getting in my bed at night after I go to sleep. I really don't want her finding us naked in bed together."

"Oh." Angel said, also pulling on clothes, boxers and a T-shirt for him. 

"Thanks. I suppose it's my fault for letting her get in the habit. After she was born, and Riley left me, I kept her in the bed with me because I missed you so much. She was the only piece of you I had left and I couldn't stand for her to be away from me. I think she was six months old before I let anyone else hold her."

"I'm sorry." Angel said sincerely. "I never meant to leave you. Especially not alone with everything that happened."

"It wasn't your fault. I was the one who made you die. I was the one who got pregnant. I was the one who made my marriage fall apart. You didn't do any of it. I take complete responsibility for making myself miserable these last three years." Buffy said, lying back down beside Angel. She took several deep breaths and fell asleep within a matter of minutes. Angel was close behind.

Cordelia caught Carley as she was coming out of her room, blanket in one hand, teddy bear in the other, heading for Buffy's room. "Carley, sweeite, why don't you come sleep with me tonight?" she asked the small child.

"Want Mommy." Carley stated, taking another step toward the door.

"Mommy has a friend in there with her."

"Want Mommy."

"Well, I want Carley."

"Oo's in dere?"

"A friend named Angel."

"Oh. Tan I go in?"

"No. That's why I want you to come with me."

"Otay, Nt Cordy."

"Good girl." Cordelia said in relief, scooping the small child up. She carried Buffy and Angel's daughter into her bedroom and they laid down, quickly falling asleep. Cordelia looked at the clock once and noticed that she had to get up for work in less than two hours. 'Oh well,' she thought sleepily, closing her eyes, 'Wesley and Gunn have Fred, they won't care if I'm late.'

Buffy opened her eyes and found herself comfortably entangled with Angel. Her legs were twined with his and she was smushed against his broad chest, his chin resting on top of her head. She tried to snuggle closer, but soon found that it was impossible to do so. He moved slightly to accommodate her movement and opened his eyes. She smiled up at him and he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Good morning beautiful." He greeted her.

"Morning yourself, handsome. How'd you sleep?" Buffy asked, sitting up slightly to look him in the eyes in stead of in the chest.

"Great. How about you?"

"Better than I have since the night of my seventeenth birthday." Buffy admitted. She pulled out of his grasp and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She got up and gathered her things for a shower. Angel also got out of bed and checked to make sure Cordelia and Carley were still asleep; Finding that they were, he followed Buffy into the bathroom. She was getting into the shower when he got there and when she saw him, she poked her head out. "Want to join me?" she asked saucily, opening the curtain a little wider. Angel didn't hesitate.

Cordelia woke up suddenly at nine the next morning when Carley climbed out of her bed. She followed the small girl and scooped her up. "Good morning, honey. How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Mommy, now!"

"Okay. We'll go get Mommy." Cordelia relented, carrying her down the hall to Buffy and Angel's room. She knocked on the door and Buffy answered it a moment later, dressed for the day in black slacks, a white striped blouse and black pumps. Her hair was pulled back in a sleek bun and her makeup was al ready perfect.

"Hey baby girl. Did you miss me?"

"Yeah."

"I missed you too." Buffy said, taking the toddler from Cordelia. "Was she okay last night?"

"Fine. I'll be ready to go down to the office in an hour. Do you want to go down together?"

"Sounds good to me. I'm going to go make breakfast. It'll be done in about half an hour, maybe forty minutes. Will you be ready enough to eat then, or should I wait?"

"That's fine. I'm heading to the shower now."

Angel came out of Buffy's room just then, wearing black slacks and a black shirt. His hair was fixed in typical Angel fashion and he looked as handsome as ever. Even Cordelia had to admit that, standing next to Buffy, who had their daughter in her arms, they were the epitome of the perfect family. For a split second she was jealous of what they had.

"Morning Cordy." Angel said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Morning. I'll see you guys later." She said, disappearing down the hall and into her room. Buffy shifted Carley from one hip to the other and walked the other direction towards the kitchen. She sat Carley on the counter and opened the fridge in search of breakfast possibilities. She emerged with eggs, milk and sausage links. She opened the cabinet and pulled out a box of pancake mix, then tied an apron around her waist to protect herself from the mess that was bound to happen.

"Carley, do you remember when I used to tell you about your Daddy? How he loved you very much, but that he couldn't be here with us?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, last night Mommy got a surprise. Your Daddy came back. He finally got to come back, and he came straight here. What do you think about that?"

"Is he the man that sleeped with you last night?" Carley asked, kicking her feet happily.

"Yes, yes he is. Do you want to meet him?" Buffy asked, and just then the doorbell rang. Buffy pushed the intercom in the kitchen. "Hello?"

"Buffy? It's Wesley. I'm here with Willow and Xander. May we come up?"

"Sure." Buffy said, buzzing the door open. A minute later, someone knocked at the door. Without thinking, Angel got up and answered it.

Wesley was standing in silent shock, as was Xander, but Willow, always the dramatic one, fainted from shock. Xander caught her as she fell back and snapped out of his trance. Wesley helped him pick her up and they carried her into the apartment and laid her on the couch. Then everyone went back to staring at Angel. Finally Xander broke the silence.

"You're dust." He stated with finality. Buffy suddenly came out of the kitchen with Carley, as always, on her hip and a spatula in the other hand from where she had been making breakfast.

"I was. But I'm not anymore." Angel replied, looking at Buffy as she edged past Xander and Wesley to check on Willow, who was coming around.

"Yes, yes. We can see that. But the question is; how are you not still dust?" Wesley spoke up.

"We still don't know. We had actually thought that you might know Wes."

"I believe I have absolutely no idea."

Willow groaned and sat up. "I think I know. Last night, I woke up on the floor and there were spell books and all these different things around. Including an Orb of Thesselah. The spell was a resurrecting spell."

"And from the ashes, like the Phoenix, let him rise, from Heaven or Hell or dimension unknown." Wesley quoted. "I remember now. That spell was used in the Medieval times. It isn't used very actively anymore. No one much wants to raise anything from ashes. But how did you make him human?"

"I don't even remember doing it. I think I was possessed." Willow said, and a hush fell over the room. A hush that Xander broke.

"Possessed? Like I was when I was Dracula's minion?"

"No. I wasn't being used for evil. This was for good. And only a super strong force could possess a Wiccan of my strength. Maybe a god or other deity did it."

Suddenly a thought struck Angel. "Could an Oracle do it?" he asked the witch.

"Hypothetically one could. Why?"

"When I was human before, one of the Oracles didn't want me to change back. The female. She's the romantic one of the two. I bet she possessed willow and brought me back." Angel said.

"It's definitely possible." Wesley agreed. But there is no way we will ever find out for certain, so I think we should just be glad that Angel's back and forget the rest of it."

Just then Cordelia came out of her room and headed into the kitchen to check on the pancakes and sausage. She finished them, and then addressed the group assembled in her living room. "Morning guys. Wesley." She added, almost shyly, then adjusted her blouse. She was dressed in maroon slacks, black pumps and a black sleeveless turtleneck sweater. Her hair was pulled back in a low ponytail.

"Good morning, Cordelia." Wesley replied hastily. Buffy rolled her eyes at Angel and he grinned. They were being very obvious in their affection for one another.

"Hey Cordy." Xander said, taking Buffy's daughter and swinging her onto his shoulders. He took her into the kitchen to fix her juice cup and Buffy and Angel followed them. Angel was fitting into the role of anxious father perfectly.

Four weeks passed in relative harmony. Then, Angle had to go out of town on a case with Wesley and Gunn, leaving Cordelia and Buffy and Carley home by themselves. The first morning he was gone, Buffy and Carley had checkups with their doctor. Cordelia tagged along, as she had nothing better to do. Carley went first, and then Buffy left her in the waiting room with Cordelia why she had her checkup.

"Well Buffy, I have some news for you." Dr. Kincaid said, walking into the examination room.

"What? Is it bad?"

"No, it's nothing bad. You're in perfect health and so is Carley. But I did come across something unusual in your bloodwork. It seems that you're pregnant. About four weeks along. Congratulations."

Buffy sat in shock for several minutes while Dr. Kincaid set up her first ultrasound. After she had the papers in her hand, she left the room, and went out into the waiting room where Cordelia and Carley were. She looked at Cordelia and uttered two words. "I'm pregnant."

Well, that's the end of the first chapter. Next one will be up soon. Review please. And anyone interested in beta reading my storied before they're posted should E-mail me at sirena192005@yahoo.com   



	2. A new life begins

Hey! Here's chapter 2 of Phoenix. I know you've all been waiting for it forever, and I am very sorry about the wait, but I have been extremely busy. Just tomorrow I leave for a weekend in Parkersburg West Virginia, so don't expect an update for another week or two. I'll try to get it out as soon as possible. Rating, disclaimer, summary, and title are the same.

Cordelia stared in shock at Buffy's announcement. "Pregnant? How can you be pregnant? Angel and you have been careful haven't you?"

"Yeah." Buffy was quick to confirm. "Except the first night he was back. We got into a fight about the Day that Wasn't when Carley was conceived, and then he came into my room late that night. I don't have to tell you how we reconciled."

"No, you don't. So, what're you going to do? We don't have enough room for another baby."

"Can we not talk about this right now? I need to think and then we'll decide what we're going to do. And then there's the telling Angel part. He loves Carley, but I don't even know if he'll want another baby."

"Buffy, Angel thinks the sun rises and sets on you and Carley. Trust me, when given the chance to dote on one more baby, he'll jump at it. Truth be told, he probably won't let you do anything during the time you're pregnant."

"Even if he did, Xander and Wesley wouldn't. Not to mention Doyle, Gunn, and Fred. No one let me do a thing the entire time I was pregnant with Carley."

"And I should imagine that it will be the same way this time." Cordelia said, picking up Carley and heading in the direction of Buffy's car. "And you have to tell Giles too. And Willow, Tara, Oz, Anya, Xander, Doyle, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, and possibly even Kate. Not to mention Riley."

"Riley does not find out. Got it? No, no, no. I do not want him know that I am pregnant."

"Why? You were married to the guy for crying out loud."

"That was the biggest mistake I have ever made. And I don't intend to dredge up any of those awful memories."

Cordelia sighed and strapped Carley into her car seat, then got in the front. "I can't say I blame you. Where to now?"

"The office. I have a meeting with Kate. And Spike." She added on a depressed sigh.

"I think we should just move into a bigger apartment."

"We have a three bedroom already. Apartments don't come much bigger than that. I think we're going to have to look for something else."

"A house?"

"Possibly. That would probably be smartest."

"Buffy, maybe we should think about moving in different places. I mean don't get me wrong, I love living with you and Carley, and even Angel, and another baby would be so much fun, but I'd feel like I was tagging along."

"You wouldn't be tagging along. I would love to have you move in with me and Angel when we move, if we move. We could renovate the playroom into a nursery."

"We could, but it would be awfully small."

"You're right. Do we have newspapers at the office?"

"I think. Why?"

"I want you to start looking for options while I have my meeting."

"What about Carley?"

"Fred'll be there. She can watch her."

"Great."

Half an hour later, Buffy was wishing that she and Cordelia had switched places, and she was the one scanning newspapers for apartments and houses, and not the one who'd just had a new case dumped on her when she had no one to help her with it.

"Okay, why don't you explain this again. What exactly do you want me to do?"

"We want you to help the police department solve a case." Kate explained patiently, "And we need your help seeing as how this is all vampire related. There've been some murders, I'm sure you've read the papers, and judging from the autopsy reports and the markings found on the body, we can only guess that the murders are some sort of a ritual. But we do know that it was done by vampires, because all victims were bitten several times."

"So, what do you want me to do?"

Spike sighed. "Slayer, we want you to do what you do best. Find and kill." Spike said, leaning back in his chair.

"Who even invited you anyway?" Buffy asked impatiently. "Last time I checked you weren't part of the Scooby Gang, the Fang Gang, or the SPD."

"No, but I am an evil vampire who has his ways of finding information."

"I have my own ways. Now get out of here. I believe the Detective and I have to discuss some business. Kate, are you looking at this as a favor or are you hiring the firm as an independent investigator?"

"The Chief gave the okay on hiring you. What's the average rate?"

"Same as before. Twelve dollars per hour of investigating done, and a start up fee of five hundred."

"That sounds about right. I'll write you a check and have it delivered later today. I'll also have the rest of our files on this case sent over so you can get started."]

Cordelia walked into Buffy's office as soon as Kate vacated it. "I know we work with her, but I don't think that I will ever learn to like that woman. Anyway, I don't care what case it is, you have to look at this house first. It's perfect and I scheduled a tour for Friday afternoon at four. Angel'll be back on Thursday so that gives you a day to tell him about the baby, and get his approval on moving."

"Cordelia, they just sent me on a murder investigation."

"Well, tell them no. You're pregnant, you can't do anything like that. It won't kill them to solve their own cases for once in their careers. We do it for them every time and it's time they learned to take responsibility for their investigations."

"They're ritualistic vampire murders."

"I'll call Angel. See if I can't get him home early with the promise of a good case and good news."

Twenty minutes later, Cordelia returned to Buffy's office, where she was reading over all the files that Kate had given her. "He said that he can leave in a couple hours to come home, so he should be home by this evening. Everything got wrapped up there faster than he thought it would. So you have even more time than we thought to tell him and let him get used to the idea."

"True, but I want to ease into it, not surprise him all at once. I mean, he's great with Carley, and she calls him Daddy already, but a new baby is a whole other ballpark. I don't want him to come home and have me be like 'oh honey, dinner's in the oven, Carley's already asleep, we have a new case at the office, and by the way I'm pregnant with your child.' That just isn't right."

"I understand, but he has to be told, and soon. I'm telling you, Buff, he won't have a problem with it. Besides, it takes two to tango."

"I know. Well, let's forget about it for the moment. I'm heading out to do some investigating. I'll be back by dinner. It's your turn to cook."

"Macaroni and cheese." Cordelia said flatly. She was not a very good cook.

"Food is food. Especially to a two year old. And if she doesn't care, then I don't care."

Buffy walked into a local bar fifteen minutes later and walked up to the counter where a half demon man named Willie was serving several vampires drinks. They had come in through the sewer system to wait for nightfall. At seeing the Slayer, most retreated to the back room where they hoped she would ignore them. Buffy hadn't come to kill them, she had come to get information out of the bar tender.

"Willie, I need your help." She stated bluntly. Willie sighed and leaned over the counter.

"What can I do for you today, Slayer?"

"There've been some murders going on. The police say that they're ritualistic vampire kills. I want to know who and why. Maybe a next time where and when if you've got it."

Willie thought for a minute. "I don't know anything about it. And don't go getting' any ideas about me lying to you, I want my head right where it belongs, thank you very much. And it belongs on my shoulders. I'll let you know if I hear anything. Saturday night is my busiest time, so if I hear anything, it'll be then."

"Are you sure you haven't heard anything at all? I just need a starting point."

"All I know is that most of the vampire's around here are talking about getting out of town because whatever this is, it's badder than they want to deal with. Something about the Child prophesied and the spilling of sacred blood. That's all I've heard about anything going on lately. But like I said, if I hear anything, you'll hear from me. Now if you don't mind, I've got a business to run and you're scaring off all my customers."

"That's my job Willie. And if you're lying to me, I will find out."

Willie shook his head in disbelief. "Lying to the Slayer would be as much suicide as if I shot my own head off. I know better." 

"Good. I'll come by some time tomorrow night. Have something for me by then." 

With that having been said, Buffy left the bar and headed out into the sunlight, relishing the way all the demons shied away from the rays she let in the door. She headed toward the office and thought of the many different ways she could tell Angel about the baby. All the scenarios she pictured ended with him leaving her pregnant and alone as his death had three years before.

Angel walked into the apartment at six that evening. He heard Buffy working in the kitchen and heard Cordelia and Carley playing in Carley's room. He decided to greet Buffy before the other two and headed into the kitchen. She whirled, knife in hand at the sound of unfamiliar footsteps behind her and gasped when she saw Angel. She threw the knife on the counter and threw herself into his arms. He hugged her tightly and then kissed her gently. She returned his kiss and then pulled away. He, with a look of mild curiosity on his face, sat her on her feet. Buffy sat down at the table and looked up at him. A moment later he joined her at the table. He already knew that something was wrong.

"What's wrong? You're awfully tense. Cordelia said we have a new case?"

"Yeah, the case should be pretty difficult. Ritualistic vamp murders. It'll take a while to get through everything and get it solved. There's already a mountain of papers on my desk. Kate's sending over more in the morning."

"Okay, so we get to work early. Now do you want to tell me what's really bothering you or do I have to tickle it out of you?" Angel threatened comically. Buffy had to give him a small smile at the expression on his face.

"All right. I might as well tell you now rather than later."

"Is it that bad?"

"That depends on your perception of bad. To me, no it's not bad. To you, I don't think it's bad, but it has a small chance of being bad."

"Buffy, spit it out already."

She did. With a deep breath she said the two words that had haunted her all day. "I'm pregnant."

Well, what did you think? I've been working on this for forever. Every time I'd sit down to get this typed out, something would happen and I'd never get to finish. So, the night before my trip, when I should be packing and preparing my presentation, I'm finishing this so I don't have to worry about it when I get back. I hope you enjoyed everything. Review if you have any shred of kindness in you.


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